Has anyone ever asked you what your dreams are?
Hint-Nobody asked me either!
Does the thought of creating a life plan overwhelm you? Defining your dreams will work
even better. It can be easy and fun.
I was married for 28 years and in the dream business for 12, and nobody ever asked
me about my dreams. Women historically have lived their husband’s dreams or their
parents’ dreams or someone else’s dreams. We are taught to do more for others and be
less of who we are just to please everyone. How often have you dumbed down to make
someone else look better, smarter, or more worthy of having their dreams.
I want to walk with you on your journey to a better life. You can create the life you
deserve just because you are you! Let’s do this together.
In this blog you will:
Create your unique life plan by dreaming.
Translate long-term goals into actionable short-term steps.
Use the Dream Proposal format to define a clear and manageable roadmap to
success.
Dream big and out loud.
Define objectives and milestones that offer a sense of progress and
accomplishment.
Celebrate the small stuff.
Take the first step. The second step will show itself.
I helped more than 2,200 survivors create what I call “Dream Proposals”, simple life
plans, by setting achievable goals one step at a time. Women working two and three
jobs to take care of multiple children went back to school, found new apartments, got
new jobs and even started their own business.
We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming—well that is like saying you can never change your fate. ~ Amy Tan
To me a waking dream (noun) is a vision of something you’d like to do, have or be. A
dream is a form of intention, a goal or plan, that needs to be acknowledged and
honored.
I believe that to dream (verb) while awake, is to have the intention to create something
extraordinary in your life. At Web of Benefit(WOB), the nonprofit that I created to help
survivors of intimate terrorism, my mission was to use hopes and dreams as the
vehicles to create new lives. As I was thinking about my definition of the word hope, I
found, somewhere in the depths of Google, the idea that hope is “a feeling of
expectation and a belief in a positive outcome."
I created the organization with the total certainty that every woman has the power to
“change her fate.” The dream gives us a road map of how to take each step. It gives us
hope for a better life and the knowledge that we alone have the responsibility for our
choices. Once we achieve our own dreams, we can then make a difference in other
lives. Hope is the great motivator. As Emily Dickinson so beautifully reminded us:
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all…
Even for me to think of a life plan for myself was a very scary thing. I created the Web of Benefit “Dream Proposal” to be a simple, comfortable format that would be a fun and
empowering process to do together. It was even more successful than I had hoped, and
it was fun.
The Dream Proposal
The state of the world today demands that women become less modest and dream/plan/act/risk on a larger scale. ~ Charlotte Bunch
I was in the dream business, helping women define their dreams for twelve
years. When I met with each survivor and her advocate to determine whether she
should receive a Transition to Self-sufficiency Grant, they were understandably nervous.
Their futures often depended on the resources I had the power to give. They were
surprised to learn that the reason why I was there was “to have some fun and remind
them they deserved the best.” The grant itself, to me, was less important than promoting
the belief they were worthy of a wonderful life. Each time, I said, “We all deserve the
best just because we breathe and walk on the planet.” I wanted them to begin to believe
they had the power to create the life of their dreams. Our grant could be only for the first
baby step. It was just the beginning. They would have to continue to find ways to move
forward, but we could plan those steps together.
How to Start your Dream Proposal
If our dreams weren’t already real within us, we couldn’t even dream them.
~ Gloria Steinem
Let’s create a unique Dream Proposal just for you right now. Let’s dream with
intention together. Imagine what success looks like? What are your specific goals,
actions and first steps? What do you need in order to start? Who in your life will support
you with your dreams? Who can you support with their dreams? How can you pay it
forward?
To start your Dream Proposal, you must be very specific about what you
want. The Dream Proposal is going to be the road map to where you want to be in five
years. Begin by looking back over the past six months and ask yourself if you have
taken some positive steps or made some positive changes in your life during that time.
Do you ever congratulate yourself on what you’ve accomplished? If not, please
congratulate yourself right now! We should all stop and give ourselves credit for what
we do every day. Now multiply what you have done in six months by ten—that is what
you’ll do in the next five years! You can do anything in that amount of time.
Your dream isn’t about tomorrow, or what is enough, or only what you need. It is
about defining the best of everything you deserve. Together we can create a picture of
your biggest and best life. We will dream big and focus small. Walt Disney said, “If you
can dream it, you can do it.”
There is one big rule. You may not mention your kids. Why? Not because they
won't be with you on your dream journey, of course they will. But this your
dream—you’re dreaming just for yourself. When was the last time you did that? Here we
go.
What is your biggest dream?
Describe each item fully in crazy big ways. You can’t dream too big!
1.Career
If you don’t have a specific career, a great job will do. Be specific. This will lead to
something even bigger. I gave a laptop to a Spanish-speaking woman who had
completed only 5th grade in her country, and she dreamed of becoming a doctor.
She got her GED and started Community College. Who knows what she’s doing
now? I dream she’s a doctor.
2. House
This is one of my favorites.
Where is it? What style? How many bedrooms? How many bathrooms? Jacuzzi?
What does your kitchen look like? What kind of yard do you have? Want a
swimming pool? A dog? A picket fence? What else can you add? Design it!
3. Car
I have always loved cars. My dream is a Porsche. But how about a Ferrari? A
Lamborghini? No mini vans allowed! Maybe a little convertible?
4. Travel
Anywhere and everywhere. Beaches, mountains. Make a list of the first five
places you’ll go. The first one is with no kids!
5. Self-Care
Nutrition, exercise, sleep, groups, reading, restaurants, music, therapy, time
alone, time with friends, spa days…keep going!
What are the steps and goals to reach your dream?
Dream big, while focusing small.
1. Current needs?
Housing, legal, immigration, childcare.
Do you need counseling or therapy?
Fix your credit score?
2. Education?
GED, Community College, University?
Find online classes. There are so many that you will be able to find exactly what
you need for free. Here are a few places to start:
What is the first baby step?
1. What will you do tomorrow?
2. How much will it cost?
Where can you find the money? Can you begin saving a little bit today?
What agencies can help you? Who else can help you?
My Dream Proposal
| |
2. Steps and Goals |
|
3. First Step to Take Tomorrow |
Now that you’ve written your own Dream Proposal:
Print it out in big red letters (or your favorite color) and
Put it somewhere you can see it every day.
Create a dream board with pictures of everything that you want and
deserve.
Visualize in detail what you want and
Now believe, know and envision that you deserve it all.
Think abundantly…this is intention, too.
The last step is to say it all out loud, very loud. Tell your friends and family.
Don’t be shy. You have no idea where support will come from. Synchronicities will begin
to happen. Don’t worry about the way your dream happens, just keep taking those baby
steps. New steps will present themselves at the right time. Assume your dreams have
already happened. Enjoy the surprises, they happen all the time if you are watching!
Comentários